soother

Well today’s adventure was a trip to Target (no longer is it just one stop among many).  John says we should take Sophia somewhere every day to get her used to the car seat; I wasn’t convinced that she could get used to it if it was her reflux, but it seems to be working.  She didn’t get too fussy on the way there and on the way back was really calm, but spit up.  Target isn’t the most sterile place to take a baby right out of the NICU (when I mentioned “germ infested” John thought I said “German festival”)–but we survived without any well-meaning strangers touching her and loaded up on the antiseptic wash.  (Home, by the way, sure lacks the sterility of the hospital too–I went to change to the slow flow Nuk nipple last night and there was a big ol’ Mukwa hair right on top of it.)

 

Anyway, we went to Target in search of a little toy that lights up and plays music like she had in the hospital–turns out they are called “soothers.”  Social services brought one for her at the hospital to give her some sense of normalcy–a nice gesture, but frightening when social services makes repeated visits to you!   We found the exact one at Target, and she loves it (that’s her mesmerized by it in the picture above).  I myself find “Hush, Little Baby” oddly soothing–must remind me of the quiet times at the hospital when we could just enjoy little Sophie.  By the way, if you’ve ever tried to find the words for that song, they are very strange–we couldn’t get beyond “diamond ring,” and when looking up the lyrics online were surprised at how strange some of the versions were.  Her soother is now hanging from her rocker to help her focus her eye contact (and ideally keep her neck straight).  

 

Unfortunately, the soother doesn’t block out all noise–while feeding her during the night, I heard what I swear were gun shots.  I guess you hear more when the windows are open.  When I called 911 to report them, the dispatcher asked whether I’d seen anything–I emphatically told him no, that I was in my home, feeding my baby–as though he should make this stop!  I wonder how I’ll someday explain to her why someone would want to hurt someone else.  I worry about this world she’s entering into and whether we will be able to protect her.